When a Family Member Is Unwilling to Seek Help

What can I do?

Learn about mental illness, including addiction

It can be easier to cope when you feel informed about what your family member is experiencing. Many websites, books and articles are available, but sometimes it is difficult to know what information is accurate. The Resources section below is a good place to start. There may also be education sessions that you can attend.

Talk to your family member about your concerns, and encourage them to seek support

Let your family member know you are concerned. It can be helpful to consider how best to express your concerns. See the previous section, “How should I talk to my family member?” for suggestions.

Suggest that the person see their family doctor or make an appointment at a treatment centre. Sometimes it may be possible for your loved one to make a self-referral to a treatment centre, and in other cases a physician referral may be required.

Get support for yourself and your family

It is helpful to get connected with family support. This could include attending an education session, meeting with a therapist or joining a support group. There are also peer family supports in the community. See the “Resources” section for some suggestions on where you can find family support.

Take care of yourself

Supporting a family member with a mental illness and/or addiction can be overwhelming. It can be a challenge to balance your own needs with being there for your loved one. Take time for yourself and ensure that your own needs are being met—you cannot sup-port your family member effectively if you are not also taking care of yourself.

• Make time for activities that you find helpful in coping with stress.
• Make time to see other family members and friends.
• Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help.
• Be aware of your boundaries and set limits to make sure they are respected.
• Look after your own physical and mental health, and seek support if necessary.

Support other family members

Mental illness and addiction concerns affect the whole family, as well as the person’s friends. It is important that everyone affected receive the support they need. Give what support you can, without overwhelming yourself, and direct others to the resources listed at the end of this page.Children in particular may need help understanding what is happening. If you are concerned about how a child is coping, you could speak to their family doctor. Support may also be available from a school social worker or through a community organization (see the “Resources” section for suggestions).

Get to know the Mental Health Act and crisis resources

It is helpful to know what resources are available to you if there is a crisis. See “How do I prepare for a crisis?” and “Can I force my family member into treatment?” for more information. 

How do I prepare for a crisis?

Try to predict possible crises and plan what you would do. A crisis plan should include contact information for:

• the nearest hospital
• crisis lines
• the local police department
• a treatment provider
• a child care provider, if relevant
• family members or supportive friends.

The CAMH page When a Family Member Is Suicidal lists crisis lines and other resources for support. 

What if I think my family member may harm themself or someone else?

• If there are immediate concerns for your family member’s safety, take them to the nearest hospital emergency department, if you can do so safely.
• If they are unwilling to go to the hospital, call 911. Explain that it is a mental health emergency, in case there is a mental health crisis response team.
• Keep yourself safe. If your family member is agitated, threatening or aggressive, call 911 while making sure you and others are safe.
• The Mental Health Act provides another way, known as a “Form 2,” to have your family member assessed. See "Can I force my family member into treatment?" 

Can I force my family member into treatment?

Everyone has the legally protected right to decide if they want treatment. Also, treatment is usually most effective when the person has agreed to it. However, in some situations, the Mental Health Act provides ways for people to receive an emergency assessment without their consent:

Form 1

If a physician believes a person is a risk to themselves or others, they can write a Form 1. With a Form 1, the person may remain in hospital for up to 72 hours while they receive an emergency assessment. If the person is not found to be a risk to themselves or others, they can leave the hospital if they wish, even if it is against medical advice. If the psychiatric team finds that the person is a risk to themselves or others, they may be held in hospital under other Forms in the Mental Health Act until they are found to be safe to leave.

Form 2

If a family member is concerned that a loved one is a risk to themselves or others, they can request a Form 2 from a justice of the peace. This form allows the police to take the person to a hospital for assessment. At the hospital, a physician will assess the person to see if they should be put on a Form 1.

The police may also take a person to hospital if they, or someone else, have seen the person behaving dangerously as a result of a mental health concern, or if they have a Form 1 or Form 2. 

Resources

• ConnexOntario: If you, or someone you know, needs help with substance use, problem gambling or mental health issues, call 1 866 531-2600.
• Ontario Court of Justice: Click on the “How do I?” tab to find a justice of the peace.
• Kids Help Phone: 1 800 668-6868 (for children and youth)
• Toronto Distress Centre: 416 408-HELP (4357)
• Gerstein Centre: 416 929-5200
• Youthdale Psychiatric Crisis Services: 416 363-9990 (for children and youth; parents must call)

Family resources

• Access CAMH: 416 535-8501 ext. 2
• Resources for Families at CAMH
• CAMH Office of Family Engagement: Family Resource Centre
  100 Stokes Street (Bell Gateway Building), ground floor, room 1314 - 416 535-8501 ext. 33202
• Canadian Mental Health Association
• Family Association for Mental Health Everywhere (FAME)
  
• Mood Disorders Association of Ontario
• Schizophrenia Society of Ontario

Supports for children

• FAMEkids - FAME supports children 7 to 12 and youth 13 to 17 who have a family member with a mental illness in this 10-week specialized program.
  Toronto: 416 207-5032
  Mississauga: 289 232-1225