How can I support others?
There are three important parts to supporting a friend with a mental health challenge:
- Reach out.
- Be supportive.
- Get help from others.
Reach out
If you notice that a friend might need support, a first step may be reaching out to them to start a conversation. If you feel comfortable, connect with your friend to ask how they are doing.
Try to be specific about what you’ve noticed that is making you concerned.
You could say
Even if your friend doesn’t want to talk, knowing that you care can help them feel less alone.
Be supportive
If your friend shares what is happening for them, you can validate their experience by showing you understand how difficult things may be for them.
You could say
Try to avoid comments that might sound as though you think that your friend can control how they think or feel, or that their experience isn’t such a big deal.
Don't say
“Everyone feels this way sometimes.”
“I’ve felt like this before—you’ll get over it soon enough.”
If you have had a similar experience that you are comfortable sharing, it might help your friend to feel less alone. You may also be able to share healthy ways that you have coped with these challenges, and positive strategies that have worked for you.
If you can, continue to be there for your friend and spend time together like you normally would. Try to keep most of your conversations on topics that you usually talk about, and not always about their mental health. Your friend is still the same person you knew before—people don’t want to be defined by their mental health challenges.
After your friend has shared their experience, you can tell them that you are glad they told you about it, and offer to keep the conversation going.
You could say
Get help from others
The kind of help that your friend may need will depend on how they are feeling, and what types of support they are comfortable receiving.
IF YOU THINK YOUR FRIEND COULD USE MORE SUPPORT
It is usually a good idea to suggest that your friend also talk to someone else about their concerns. (It is good for your friend, and good for you too - it means you're not the only person who is looking out for them). If your friend is uncomfortable reaching out like this, you can offer to be there with them or connect with someone else for them.
Start by showing your friend that you care about them.
You could say
Then you may suggest some possible sources of help
Maybe this isn’t an option your friend is ready for now, but opening this
conversation can show that you are there if they want to talk more.
If the person’s challenges continue, remind them that you are there for them.
In this situation, you should definitely reach out to someone who can help you
figure out what to do next or can reach out to your friend directly.
If your friend’s behaviours start to become more alarming, they may need
more immediate support. Examples might be big changes in their mood,
a major change in their regular activities, increased use of alcohol or other
drugs or talking about suicide or self-harm.
IF YOU THINK THIS IS AN EMERGENCY FOR YOUR FRIEND
If your friend is talking about self-harm or suicide, and is describing ways to do it, they need help now. You may be able to get your friend to a source of help if they agree to go with you, and if you are comfortable doing this. Even if they don’t agree, it is still important to respond with their safety in mind.
You could say
If your friend doesn’t want you to call anyone and is unwilling or unable to go
to the emergency department, you can offer to call 911 with them. If you are
concerned about their safety and they refuse any help from you or someone
else, you should call 911.
